Friday, December 28, 2007

My heart hurts

I feel out of place for feeling this way at Christmas. It’s something that I tried to ignore, but cannot.

For the past few years my family and I have gone to Atlanta to feed the homeless. Regardless if you’re a Christ-follower or not,  helping those less fortunate than yourself on a day when it’s easier to chill at home with the new toys Santa brought brings makes you feel some sort of satisfaction about yourself. Maybe it makes you happy to help. Maybe it humbles you. Maybe it’s a good deed that qualifies you as a good Christian.

This year it was different. I felt little joy going downtown. There were men who approached us smiling and exclaiming that they were blessed on Christmas day to recieve a warm coat and a sandwich, while others hid farther down in their blankets in emberassment as they refused our offer.

I stared out the window in silence as we pulled away from each starving soul. 

It didn’t settle well with me.

Maybe they had an addiction. Lost a job. Foreclosed on a home. Lost their family.
It could happen to anyone.

They don’t deserve to be where they’re at. And I don’t deserve to be in the position I’m in.

We dropped off water, food an clothes…and it may help them get through the day…but what about beyond that? We leave and get back on the interstate to head back to our lives of luxury and pat ourselves on the back for being a good person.

It didn’t make me feel good. Not this time.

My heart hurts thinking that real people with living souls are living to make it through the day. And here I am at times simply doing a routine from day to day because I’ve become too apathatic. For many who are homeless, they are just existing. Trying to stay alive. Sometimes I find myself living that way by choice.

Looking through the backseat window in silence, I somehow felt I had expereinced a small fraction of how God must feel.

It’s not an occasional act of kindness to help the oppressed, it’s a responsibility.

Respond.

Posted by heather at 04:55:42 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Friday, December 14, 2007

Can you feel me now?

Sometimes feelings can be decieving. They can dictate how we perceive God.

Last week David talked about the distance we feel from God isn’t so much that He’s moved away, but it’s the choices we make that distance us.

But sometimes we pray and pray and pray and feel like there is no progress.
And there feels like there is no answer.
Silence.

And then this happens.

During that one hour, my heart was at rest watching the youth worship….and it made all the times God was silent worth it to be answered by Him in this way.

Witnessing 6th-11th graders worship with everything they had and pray with each other…has a way of reminding you that your prayers haven’t gone unnoticed. I think it was God’s way of saying…

Can

you

feel

Me

now?

Posted by heather at 15:06:04 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Monday, December 10, 2007

Aussie accents and Greenville

For all who don’t know, my mom (Josie) is a HUGE Keith Urban fan. She never saw him live until this summer when my brother and I got her tickets to see him in Atlanta. Little did I know that taking her to hear him play live would be the catalyst of her Keith Urban addiction.

Josie and I went to Greenville, SC on Thursday night to see him in concert. I didn’t mind so much because he is one of the few country artists that I can listen to without my ears bleeding from all of the honky tonk. He’s also probably one of the best guitar players I’ve heard.

not to mention he’s quite good looking.

I love live music…but 2 concerts of Keith Urban hasn’t left me screaming for more. Regardless of the fact that I love accents…and his is Australian, I wouldn’t exactly want to go see him again. Josie however doesn’t feel the same. She got tickets to see him AGAIN when he comes to Gwinnett Arena with Carrie Underwood in April. Is there a program for Keith Urban junkies?

All in all it was an interesting experience. It’s kind of fun to watch Josie throw up the rock fist at a country concert…and it makes me happy to see her happy.

Posted by heather at 17:58:03 | Permalink | No Comments »

Monday, December 3, 2007

Signs

Signs- any object, action, event, or pattern that conveys a meaning

We started our new Christmas series at Hi-Def called “Signs”. Gus will be talking about signs that lead us closer to God and tonight I talked about those that lead us astray.

We all are trying to reach a destination. Happiness, success, eternity, popularity, etc. We follow people/things that will get us to our desired destination. By nature we are always looking for something pursue…something new to follow after. Somehow it’s not enough. We always need something else. It’s not enough because things that we follow tend to be misleading or promising life but failing to measure up because they aren’t leading us to Jesus.

So we talked about Jonah. Three chapters. Check it out. Basically about Jonah going the other direction of the signs God had placed for Him but when at last he chose to follow God’s direction, it lead a city to freedom.

The significance of Jesus’ birth is that it was the ultiamte sign of God’s involvement with humanity. His destination was the cross. His destination was our freedom. 

God sees you as worth dying for.
Do we live with that mindset? Do we live like we’ve been delievered and that our life was worth saving? Sometimes we forget that that is enough. Sometimes we end up following signs that we think give us more value or make us feel accepted.

The best personal example I can think of is high school. Who you hang out with defines who you are. Needless to say, the crowd I ran with was very fond of alcohol and it was something I had to constantly choose not to engage in because it was so available. But after a while I got tired of saying no and being pushed to just have one drink. So I gave in and had a drink. One drink. Junior year. The next day at school the rumor was “Heather got drunk”.

I was heartbroken.

I thought I could hang around people drinking and by refusing to engage in it, I would be some sort of example. But to state that “being Jesus” was my only motive for sticking around with them would be a lie. I wanted them to know Jesus. But I also wanted to still be accepted by them. I still wanted to maintain some sort of relationship with them and not feel isolated because of my faith.

So I followed the sign that told me to have just one drink. I followed the sign that told me to do what it would take to feel accepted and to give in…just this once. And the consequences sucked. It was easy to blame God for that rumor. I felt I had tried for so long to be a good example to them and the one time I mess up it becomes big news?
It didn’t seem fair. But then again perhaps I wouldn’t have felt the need to drink so much if I wasn’t seeking value in the wrong place.

God always seems to be the easiest to blame.

Life happens and we assume that it’s a sign that God doesn’t care. But we’ve forgotten God’s intention behind His invovlement. He knew in a world of sin, His invovlement was necessary for our freedom. His involvement was necessary so that when life gets hard, we wouldn’t be hopeless because He paid the price for hope.

Maybe the signs that lead us astray are just the signs that God will use to remind us that we’re meant for more.

We’re worth dying for. Isn’t that enough?

Posted by heather at 06:28:08 | Permalink | No Comments »